To my Abbie Rose

   

Dear my sweet Abbie,

It’s hard to believe you are already six years old!  It seems like just yesterday you were this tiny little thing I had no idea how to handle.  You have taught me so much in the past six years – how to be a mom, how to be a better person, how to function on little sleep, what’s important in life.  You bring us our biggest joys, and also our biggest frustrations, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

You are such an amazing big sister to your little brothers, when you want to be.  You have a huge heart and you are always thinking about others, but you also like things to go exactly as you have planned.  You are great with Jamison.  No one makes him smile like you do and he gets so happy when we get you from school.  You talk to him so sweetly, and it’s funny because I hear how I talk to him when I listen to you.  You are usually good with Benji, as long as he’s going along with your plan.  If he decides he’s tired of being bossed around, that’s when all hell breaks loose.  You tend to get a bit pushy or you’ll just flat out smack him if he doesn’t do what you want him to do, but we’re working on that.  Other times you’ll give him what he’s throwing a fit about or you’ll say “It’s not that big of a deal.  Ben can have it.” or something to that effect.  Although you are always thinking about him because if you get a treat – sticker, prize, candy, whatever – you always bring one home for him and that’s so sweet.  I hope you three will always remain close.  You are definitely the leader of the pack.

You are our fearless girl.  You think things through thoroughly most of the time and you aren’t quick to make rash decisions at all.  When you pick out what piece of candy you want, it takes you a GOOD 5 minutes to handle every single piece and weigh all your options before you decide.  Going shopping with you is painful because you have to inspect every possible option of anything and then do this internal debate about it for at least a few minutes before you come to a decision.  And most of the time you still can’t decide and you ask for two of whatever so you don’t have to decide.  It’s half amusing and half frustrating.

Not much grosses you out or freaks you out.  You help me change Jamison’s poopy diapers, you pick up weird bugs, you aren’t afraid to get dirty.  You LOVE to explore and you are so creative.  I could give you a box of random junk and you could come up with 100 different things to do with it.  You love “making things with nature” as you call it.  You pick up sticks and leaves and make dolls or outfits or whatever.  You have quite the imagination and you love making things for people.  You make things out of cardboard or any other material any chance you get.  I love that about you, among many other things.

    

You’ve been asking for a horse for a year now.  Not too surprising since you come by your love of animals naturally.  You help with our dogs by feeding Sammer every evening when I remind you and sometimes you get their dry food for me in the mornings.  You like to help around the house when you’re in the mood.  You empty the dishwasher for me and sometimes collect the garbage.  You help with your brothers and set the table.  Your room is a complete disaster 95% of the time though.  You cannot keep it clean for the life of you (or me) and I can ask you 45 times to get your room cleaned and it’ll still be a total mess.  You’re creative and messy.

 

I still can’t believe you’re six!  I remember figuring out how to be a mom with you as a newborn like it was yesterday.  It’s so fun to have a front row seat watching you grow up and I’m so excited to see what the future holds for you, but I’d love to you stay little too.  I love you pippers!

To my Abbie Rose

 

My little pippers,

It's hard to believe you're already five years old.  These past years have flown by and it has been so fun to watch you grow into the little girl you are now.  I tell you all the time that you need to stop getting big and you scrunch up your face and flex your little muscles and grunt a lot and say, "I try Mommy, but I just can't stay little!"

You are such a little girlie girl right now.  You love to go shopping with me and get so excited if I tell you you can pick something out.  You meticulously look around for the perfect dress or pair of shoes, touching everything you pass, but very obviously on the look out for something specific.  Your current love is long dresses that you can twirl in.  I bought you a long, yellow dress with flowers on it, and you would wear that every single day, all day and to bed if I let you.

You love to do your own hair now.  You spray detangler in it and brush it all out pretty well.  You can pull it back by yourself into a pony tail and then place the barrettes on either side of your face to hold your fringe hair in place.  You love to wear stick on earrings and you smear chap stick all over your face frequently.   You almost always have a necklace or bracelet or both on before we leave the house.  You like to grab your purse every time we leave the house and you put your sunglasses on top of your head just like you see your daddy do.

 

You are such a loving little girl.  Often times I will be working and you'll come up to me while I'm sitting at my desk to give me a kiss and tell me you love me.  You are ALWAYS up for an adventure, and you love getting out of the house and doing just about anything.  You are able to make friends easily wherever you go and you are quite obviously a natural leader.  You love to be in charge and when you are around little ones your age, you are usually coordinating things and making sure everyone is involved.  I hope you never lose your fearlessness and your confidence.

Sometimes you and Ben play so well together, and sometimes you fight like crazy.   You are usually happy as long as he’s going along with what you want him to do.  If not, you tend to try to force him to do what you want him to do and he’s getting to the point where he doesn’t like to be bossed around much.  You are all in to Barbie’s right now, and you love dressing them up.  You still like to do anything artsy and our kitchen table is usually a complete disaster with markers and paints and paper.

 

You are growing up so fast and I can’t believe you start kindergarten this year!  You are VERY excited about going to a new school and meeting your new teachers.  I wish I was as excited about it as you are.  If I could keep you this age forever, I would.

 

I love you more than you’ll ever know.

 

 

Love,

Your mama

Dear Abbie

 

Dear Abbie,

This year has been quite a wild ride with you, that’s for sure.  There was more than one time that I wanted to jump off because I thought I couldn’t handle it you anymore, but we got through it.  Barely.  =)

I think I’ve learned more about myself during this past year with you than the prior 31 years combined.  You are a pretty much perfect reflection of my mood, and I’m learning more and more how what I do affects how you act.  However, you were in the PRIME of your “testing three’s” most of this year, and it didn’t matter how anyone treated you or what kind of mood we were in, you were bound and determined to be a handful, and that you were.  I have never encountered anything more infuriating, yet rewarding, in my entire life, and quite honestly, I doubt I ever will.  Your brother is getting some what of a little temper on him now, but he just doesn’t have the spunk that makes you you.  And while it was beyond exasperating at times, I wouldn’t trade you, or your spunk, for the world.  I wouldn’t want my daughter to be a little wall flower anyway.  I would want her to be kind, yet assertive, and I think that’s exactly what you’ll be.  It’s just a tad but aggravating when your three year old has more assertiveness than most 30 year olds.

These last few months though, you’ve really given us a glimpse of what we think the next year will hold for you.  I’ve read that four year olds have quite a bit more maturity than three year olds, and I can see that happening to you right before my eyes.  We can reason with you now and you are more inclined to try to make us happy instead of digging in your heels and demanding exactly what you want (which, by the way, never got you anything).  This past year of the testing and tantrums seems to be behind us and I am so excited about this coming year.

You are such a sweet little girl.  You know what you want and when you want it and exactly how you want it, but you also know what it means to be kind and to be a good person, and we can watch you have that good vs evil internal struggle with yourself when things aren’t going your way.  More often than not you’ll give way to your wants and do the right thing, and it’s a beautiful thing to see.  I am ever aware that I have you as my little shadow, watching and mimicking everything I say and do and that is a blessing and a curse, but more so a blessing.  I strive daily to be who I’d like you to become and to try to be a good role model for you and it’s good for me to have that kind of pressure.  Frankly, I think it’s good for anyone.  I hear you saying to your babies many things that I have said to you throughout the day which makes me realize that you really are listening to every word.

You are getting SO BIG and that makes me so sad.  I tell you multiple times a day that you need to stay little and you say “But I can’t Mommy.  I have to get big.”  I know you do, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.  It literally seems like just yesterday they laid you on me for the first time and I got my first look at you with your pointy head and squinty eyes and now I look at you and it’s like it’s a different person.  I know I’m biased but I think you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and the person you are becoming makes me think that even more.

Most days I’m just in awe that God chose me to be your mom, and I truly feel like you are one of the biggest blessings in my life.  I think the mother-daughter relationship can be a beautiful, unrivaled thing, and I hope and pray that ours continues to grow.  I am so lucky to get a front row seat to watching you and helping you become the amazing person I know you will be someday.  The sky really is the limit with you and I can’t wait to see the next year of your journey.

I love you, Abbie Rose!  Don’t ever forget that!

Love,

Your mommy

Abbie’s Birthday letter from Mark

To My Abbie Rose,                                                 20 May 2012

This past year has been a whirlwind to say the least.  You have grown in so many ways; it’s not possible to cover them all here.  Last year I wasn’t around for your birthday and I missed over half of the year.  Fortunately, you’re mom kept me posted with emails, Skype calls, pictures, and blog posts.  So I still witnessed how much you changed during that time, and it certainly helped me get through those times that I missed you badly.  Fortunately, the biggest changes have occurred since I returned.  I vividly remember seeing you after those 6 months, patiently standing beside mom waiting to say hi to me face-to-face.  You didn’t look like my little baby girl anymore; you were taller and you had lost most of your baby fat.  Mom had you in that cute green dress I like with white leggings and your little brown shoes.  I was worried you would be too shy or nervous to give me a hug, but to my surprise you marched right up to me and gave your stinky, hairy dad a big hug and kiss without hesitation.  That’s your personality.  You’re outgoing, social, and rarely are you scared.  But even when you are scared you’re not embarrassed to say it; I suppose your candidness comes with your age.  I hope that never changes. 

You have more energy than any two people combined.  It’s amazing to watch you just go go go.  That is until you crash.  You’re not one to give in to being tired.  You will endure for as long as your little body will let you; then it shuts you down…and you crash.  I think that hints to your inner drive and ambition.  There are people out there, myself included, who could use that kind of natural motivation every once-in-awhile.  Your mom and I think you’re going to be a little dancer, or volleyball player, or track star, or the first woman president; suffice it to say we think you’re special and you have unlimited potential.  You proved that to us early on.  It was amazing to watch you learn to speak.  You’re vocabulary increases exponentially, it’s like you have a steel trap in that melon of yours.  You’re so analytical already too.  You shouldn’t be asking me the types of questions you are asking already…I’m not prepared for them yet.  You definitely challenge your mom and me. 

I’m looking forward to this year and what surprises you have up your sleeve.  We’re putting you into the Asilo here in Sarone so you can pick up some Italian and enjoy socializing with other little ones your age.  I have a feeling you’ll be spouting Italian at us after day one and be ordering for us at restaurants after day two.  There is never a dull moment with you.  You’re my special little girl who lights up my day when I get home from work.  Never fail you’re right there at the door yelling “Daddddeeee!!!” every day when I get home.  I love you very much Abbie Rose and I’m excited to see how much you grow and change this year.  Happy Birthday! 

Love,

Your Daddy

To my daughter

Dear Abbie,

This has been quite a year for us.  Daddy was gone for 6 weeks, followed by 7 months.  We moved back to the US while he was deployed and lived with grammy and grampy.  I left you overnight for the first time.  We moved you in to a big girl bed.  You gained a little brother.  And you potty trained!  You were a real trooper through it all, and you were my little side kick and partner in crime.  If there is such thing as a “good time” for Daddy to deploy, I think the time he went was probably the best.  You were aware that he was gone, and you were a bear for the first week or so, but then you were okay.  And you had a fantastic time with your grandparents.  If he left for that long now, I think you’d have a much worse time with it because you’re that much more aware of your surroundings now, and you’re really starting to value relationships with other people.

You, my little pooks, are quite the handful at times.  You are the sweetest little thing when you want to be, but you are incredibly determined, so it can be very hard to convince you to do things our way or to redirect your attention.  Dealing with you can be exhausting and infuriating and it is by FAR the hardest job I’ve ever had to do.  I really had no clue that parenting would be this hard and that I would be at a completely loss, at times, as to how to control you, but that happens more that I care to admit.  You want to please and you long for praise, but sometimes your curiosity gets the best of you and you like to test your limits quite frequently.

You are such a fun little thing to be around.  You’re an absolute sponge at this point, and you pick up on things that we’re not even aware of, at times.  Having a three year old around is a better self-portrayal than any mirror could ever be.  You make me want to be a better person and a better mother on a daily basis, so that you have something more positive to mimic.

You have changed our lives and our outlook on more ways than we could have ever imagined.  You keep our days busy and our hearts full and I love you with every ounce of my being.

Love,

Your momma

To Abbie, from daddy

(This was written by my husband.)
Happy Birthday Abbigale,
I can’t believe you are already 2 years old. I remember taking you home from the hospital four days after you were born. I don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous driving. You looked so tiny all curled up in that car seat. You had no control over your little arms and legs, or anything for that matter, but you did manage to look at me with those big blue eyes…and I was smitten.
As soon as you were born your big personality came blaring out in the form of many incredibly loud screams that even the delivery nurses were impressed with. I remember briefly thinking, “hmmm, she’s kind of spunky”…I had no idea.
I started work the next day and it was tough keeping my mind on my job. I was always wondering what you were doing at home. It didn’t matter how bad work was at the time, as soon as I got in the car to come home and see you, I was instantly happy. I forgot my frustrations and worries and couldn’t wait to get home to hold you. You’re growing up so fast. What amazes me so much about you is you’re determination. When you first started crawling no terrain was too much for you. You’re biggest obstacle was stairs and of course that’s the first place you wanted to go. I have spent many hours standing over you as you tried to tackle those stairs. That didn’t change when you started walking, it just became a whole new challenge that you didn’t shy from.
Now a days you’re learning to talk. I love watching your facial expressions when Mom and I are talking to you. I can see those wheels turning and I know you’re filing away every word we say and connecting it with the situation. Even when we’re just talking amongst ourselves while you’re playing, you’re still monitoring those air waves, listening in. It amazes me how smart you are. I love that you can talk to me and tell me “I uuvv eww Daaadddeeeee” or “Good morning Daaaddeee”.
I also love when I’m carrying you and you put your little hand on the back of my neck; there are really no words to describe how I feel at that time. When you were one year old, while I was holding you, you would grab both my ears with your hands and then pull my face toward you and try to suck on my schnauz. When you started getting teeth that got more painful, but I still thought it was adorable and there was no way I was going to stop you from doing it no matter how much my eyes began to water.
You’re just an amazing little girl and if I could spend all my time with you I would. I know you probably get tired of me smothering you but I’ve never known anything to be so sweet. You’re just naturally a friendly gentle (except when you’re tackling the dogs) little girl and I just love to be around you. I hope you have a great 2nd Birthday with your Mom and Grandparents, and I hope you can understand that wish I could be there with all my heart. I love you so much and I miss you more than anything.
Your Daddy
20 May 2011 (from Afghanistan)

To my sweet daughter

Dear Abbie,
It’s hard to believe you’re already two years old.  Since becoming a mother, it seems like life has been pushed into fast forward and months are just flying by and as soon as I get used to you being in one stage, you’re already on to the next before I know it.  I wish I could just hit pause and keep you as my sweet little two year old forever.
You’re such an active little girl.  It is a rare moment when you stay in one place for more than a minute or two.  You’re so inquisitive and you get in to EVERYTHING, which I’ll admit, drives me nuts at times, but really, I wouldn’t want you any other way.  I love to watch you figure things out, the way your furrow your little brows and really concentrate until it clicks.  I love when I ask you questions you don’t know the answer to and you look at me with your head cocked to one side with that questioning look on your face, and then when I tell you the answer you repeat it.  I love hearing “Mommy ah-zaaht?” numerous times a day.
I melt inside every time you put your little chubby hands on either side of my face to give me a kiss, or when you run after me when I’m leaving yelling “Mommy!  Smooches!” with your little lips puckered so I’ll give you one more kiss.  I love that you like holding my hand.  It just feels so natural to have your little hand tucked in to mine.  I love when you run up and grab my hand saying “Momma, come pa-lay.”
You are talking SO MUCH now.  You repeat pretty much everything you hear.  I like trying to get you say words like “granola bar”.  You tend to add a few extra syllables, which is adorable.  You’re starting to form sentences, but sometimes it takes you a few tries to get 5-6 words together in the right order, and it’s really fun listening to you work at that.  My favorite is when you say “Oh my goodness” in your cute little two year old girly voice.  Sometimes you even put your hands on your cheeks and it really is just too much for me to handle at times.
Every morning I wake up to you calling for me.  You used to cry and be upset when you woke up, but now you just call for me and somewhere along the way it turned from “mommy” to “momma”, and I love it when you call me “momma”.  Sometimes when I walk into your room, you’re staying in your crib and you say “good morning momma!”, and that is the absolute BEST way I could ever start my day.
I can’t even remember what life was like before you came along.  I feel like you are the reason I was put on this earth.  To raise you and nurture you and watch you grow up.  I just wish you weren’t growing up so fast.
I love you, Abbie Rose.
~momma

A daughter is the happy memories of the past, the joyful moments of the present, and the hope and promise of the future.  ~Author Unknown