And then there were 4

Having 4 kids isn’t for the faint of heart and quite honestly, the thought of Mark going back to work tomorrow terrifies me and makes me cry just thinking about it.  We’ve gotten off to a rough start with our little Josie girl, but the big kids all love her and so do we.

 

Jamison was most interested in her when we brought her home.  He points and her and says “baby” every time he sees her and now (at 12 days old for her) he’s also saying Josie.  He cried a few times when she cried in the beginning but he’s over it now.  He loves to try to help with her by handing us wipes and he loves pointing to her and looking at her when we hold her or she’s in the swing or bouncer.  Hopefully he will always been this gentle with her.  He really is a sweet boy so I think he’ll be a good big brother.

Ben actually wanted to hold her right away, which surprised me.  He loves to talk about how cute she is and he’s said multiple times “I want to keep her.”  Or he asks if we can keep her or get to keep her.  He always wants to make sure she’s going with us when we leave and he asks to touch her a lot too.  It’s a lot different from when Jamison was born as he didn’t want to touch Jamison for a few days and it took like a week or two before he’d hold J.

Abbie is a natural of course.  She asks to hold Josie ALL the time, and I try to let her as much as possible, but Abbie has also had a cold recently so I’m trying to keep her away from the baby.  All the kids know they need to wash their hands before they get near her and also use hand sanitizer and Abbie changes her shirts when she gets home from school.  Yes, I’m being anal, but no, I don’t want a newborn to get whatever crud is going around and land in the hospital.  Again.

 

The house is pure chaos right now.  The boys run around and make as much noise as possible.  Abbie is constantly talking about something or other or doing her crafts that make huge messes.  The baby is held pretty much all day by either Mark or myself.  She cries when we put her down.  I am able to wear her some, which helps.  She isn’t nursing great at all because we’ve been bottle feeding her and supplementing her.  I try to pump as often as possible, but in the chaos of everything I don’t have a lot of time.  And when I do have time, I just want to sleep and not pump.  I can get her to latch occasionally, but she almost always falls asleep on me immediately, so her nursing sessions last about 3 mins.  She’s a lot easier to keep awake with a bottle.

Our adventure as 6 begins.  I’m excited and terrified at the same time, and I’m not sure which one is more prevalent right now.  Hopefully we’ll get into a routine soon and I’ll get the hang of managing 4 kids all day by myself and we won’t have so much to worry about with Josie.  Thank God I’m in this with Mark.  He’s a God send in more ways than one.

On marriage

I find myself reflecting on Mark and my marriage a lot lately.  Maybe it’s because we’re over the 10 year mark. Maybe it’s because I hear a lot of friends complaining about their husband.  Maybe it’s because this military lifestyle and the decisions we’re trying to make about the future really make me think about how thankful I am to have him home with us most of the time.  Whatever the reason is, I know for a fact that Mark and I really rock at this marriage thing.

I remember when we first started living together in August of 2005.  That was a huge adjustment for both of us, as I’m sure it is for anyone living with someone else for the first time.  Our communication styles were so different.  He just avoided everything and had NO clue how to respond to my emotions (and I had lots of emotions), and I wanted him to open up so badly.  Mark has always been a slow mover in that aspect.  I called him my pretend boyfriend for over 8 months before we ever crossed the “friendship line” (aka – held hands or kissed), but he was pretty much oblivious to the fact that I liked him.  Luckily, I’m persistent.  And patient.  Those first few months of living together had a lot of ups and downs.  I drove myself to the beach more than a few times to try to sort out my thoughts and feelings and frustrations.  Mark’s younger brother, Alex, actually said “I love you” to me before Mark did.  Haha!  True story!  I still tease Mark about that.  I remember when Mark proposed to me on Navarre Beach too.  I knew it was coming because I felt the ring box in his pocket, but I didn’t tell him that.  I thought that day was great, but that was only the beginning.  When we were friends, before we were dating, I would tell my parents that I just had so much fun with him.  I’d never had as much fun with anyone else as I did with him, and that is still true 11+ years later.  I do believe that we have such a solid marriage because we were pretty much best friends first, before we ever moved on to dating each other.


When I met him at the alter on our wedding day, he was shaking like a leaf.  I still tease him about that too.  He calmed down a little throughout the ceremony, but he pretty much shook the whole time.  I thought I would be nervous walking down the aisle, but when the time came, I just remember being so excited!  I have never once doubted my decision to marry Mark.  It is still the best decision I’ve made to date.  (Our wedding photographer, on the other hand, was not…)

Our marriage definitely hasn’t been all roses and unicorns, but compared to others I’ve heard about, maybe it has.  Sure, we occasionally argue, but we argue fairly and we respect each others thoughts and opinions.  There isn’t name calling or slamming doors or anything like that.  Emotions run high sometimes, but it is typically pretty short lived and we can figure things out and move on.  I think the number one key to a successful marriage is respect and I respect Mark more than anyone else I’ve ever encountered.  And I respect him for so many reasons.  He is kind and intelligent.  He is fair and open minded.  He works hard at work and at home, but his family is his #1 priority.  He is SUPER laid back and even tempered and he balances me out in the best ways possible.  He has an amazing ability to see the big picture and not get caught up in the small details, like I tend to.  He is always seeking knowledge – reading books, listening to podcasts, searching the internet, and he’s good at sharing his knowledge.  I’m not sure there is a better daddy on the planet and seeing him with our kids makes me love and respect him more on a daily basis.  He is willing to put the kids and me first.  He is just a genuinely good person.  And he’s incredibly easy to be married to.

I have talked to a few friends who say they could never work with their husbands.  They need that time and space separation.  And I’ve had friends say that they are a little relieved when their husbands go TDY or are gone on business trips for a few days.  That has just never been us.  I like having Mark home.  Sure, he’s a HUGE help with the kids and when he’s here I have time to breathe and think and do something other than parent, but more so, I just like his company.  I feel complete when he’s at home with us and it’s not that I NEED him here, it’s that I want him here.  There’s just a comfort level that comes with having him home and all of us like it when he’s around.  Our kids still ask him every day if he has to go to work later or the next day.  Any time Jamison hears the door open he starts saying dada.  He never complains about not having a break when he gets home from working for 10-12 hours at work and then the kids pounce on him as soon as he walks through the door and he has a kid or three hanging on him until they are all in bed for the night.  Our goal is to someday be able to work together.  To have a business together and be able to spend all day together if we want to.  Hopefully that works out.

I am reminded on a daily basis from various sources of how lucky I am to be married to Mark.  I try hard to not take that for granted for a single minute.  Marriage can be hard work, and anyone who’s been married for 10+ years knows that, but I feel very blessed that our marriage hasn’t been much work so far.  There is a series going on at our church right now called “The Elephant in the Family Room” and a few weeks ago it talked about the elephants in marriage and what causes the most fights.  They were money, kids and in-laws and one of those has been a HUGE challenge for us and caused at least 90% of the arguments and hard feelings in our marriage, but after 10 years, we’re on the same page about it now and working towards a common goal instead of me feeling like we’re on opposite sides.

I hope our next 10 years are as great as the last 10 years have been!

2015 Spouse taxi

Before we left AZ, I got to take part in my 2nd spouse taxi day.  Just like last time, this was my first time leaving a baby with someone else.  First time it was Abbie, who I left with a military spouse friend.  This time in was Jamison, that I left with Megan, our awesome neighbor.  Actually I left all 3 of my kids with her to add to her 4.  Really, she’s awesome.

Riding in the jet is fun, but it’s even more fun to see my husband in his element.  Last time I did this Mark was in the B-course so I couldn’t ride with him.  I had to ride with an IP.  This time, because he is an IP, I got to ride with him and it was 10 times better!  I still don’t really envision him doing this when he goes to work.  When I picture him at work, he’s sitting in his office behind a desk, not strapping on a jet and doing all kinds of crazy stuff.  It’s an odd experience, in a way, watching your husband walk around this multi-million dollar aircraft like he owns it.  Mark is the most humble and modest person you could hope to meet, but he does have a pretty cool job.

   

The mask still makes me claustrophobic so I never hooked it up all the way.  I feel like I can’t breathe when it’s on.  I don’t know how Mark does it.

Mark didn’t make me do all the radio calls, which stress me out.  I had to do them all last time and I was so worried about screwing them up.  It was a lot of fun listening to him talk on the radio though.  Seems like just yesterday he was telling me how nervous he was about radio calls when he was learning to fly the Cessna before pilot training.  (Over NINE years ago – seriously, where does the time go!)  Now it’s like 2nd nature to him and he talks so fast I can barely understand what he’s saying.  It reminded me of how far he’s come in his flying career.

  

I feel pretty lucky to be married to Mark and to be able to do cool things like this.  Never in a million years would I have dreamed I’d be doing spouse taxi’s in an F-16.  We are pretty blessed.

 

Mark’s fini flight

A few friends joined us for Mark’s fini flight at Luke.  Abbie and Sophia are inseparable when they’re together.  It’s pretty cute.  Ben wanders around half in awe, half terrified.  Jamison slept the whole time while I tried to keep his ears covered to protect him from the jet noise.

I look like a bloated toad and Mark looks hot as heck getting out of the jet.  Story of my life.

Doing the traditional “attack when they get out of the jet” gig.  This time they strapped him to the thingy they hang the bombs from.

Ben was interested and a little concerned about what they were doing to his daddy, but no tears.  Last time Abbie cried but neither of them did this time.

Gail came out for support and Mark flew his fini with Jalen (Rex).  Alana (Jalen’s wife) took all these pictures for me.

 

The kids were excited to spray Mark and they had a great time doing so.

Hard to believe this assignment is overwith!  2.5 years, our first home we’ve owned, one more dog, one more kid, another job for me, 3 different schools for Abbie, one school for Ben, a church we loved, and too many good friends to count, it’ll be hard to say goodbye to Arizona.