Thursday, May 30, 2013

Dear Abbie


Dear Abbie,

This year has been quite a wild ride with you, that’s for sure.  There was more than one time that I wanted to jump off because I thought I couldn’t handle it you anymore, but we got through it.  Barely.  =)

I think I’ve learned more about myself during this past year with you than the prior 31 years combined.  You are a pretty much perfect reflection of my mood, and I’m learning more and more how what I do affects how you act.  However, you were in the PRIME of your “testing three’s” most of this year, and it didn’t matter how anyone treated you or what kind of mood we were in, you were bound and determined to be a handful, and that you were.  I have never encountered anything more infuriating, yet rewarding, in my entire life, and quite honestly, I doubt I ever will.  Your brother is getting some what of a little temper on him now, but he just doesn’t have the spunk that makes you you.  And while it was beyond exasperating at times, I wouldn’t trade you, or your spunk, for the world.  I wouldn’t want my daughter to be a little wall flower anyway.  I would want her to be kind, yet assertive, and I think that’s exactly what you’ll be.  It’s just a tad but aggravating when your three year old has more assertiveness than most 30 year olds.

These last few months though, you’ve really given us a glimpse of what we think the next year will hold for you.  I’ve read that four year olds have quite a bit more maturity than three year olds, and I can see that happening to you right before my eyes.  We can reason with you now and you are more inclined to try to make us happy instead of digging in your heels and demanding exactly what you want (which, by the way, never got you anything).  This past year of the testing and tantrums seems to be behind us and I am so excited about this coming year.

You are such a sweet little girl.  You know what you want and when you want it and exactly how you want it, but you also know what it means to be kind and to be a good person, and we can watch you have that good vs evil internal struggle with yourself when things aren’t going your way.  More often than not you’ll give way to your wants and do the right thing, and it’s a beautiful thing to see.  I am ever aware that I have you as my little shadow, watching and mimicking everything I say and do and that is a blessing and a curse, but more so a blessing.  I strive daily to be who I’d like you to become and to try to be a good role model for you and it’s good for me to have that kind of pressure.  Frankly, I think it’s good for anyone.  I hear you saying to your babies many things that I have said to you throughout the day which makes me realize that you really are listening to every word.

You are getting SO BIG and that makes me so sad.  I tell you multiple times a day that you need to stay little and you say “But I can’t Mommy.  I have to get big.”  I know you do, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.  It literally seems like just yesterday they laid you on me for the first time and I got my first look at you with your pointy head and squinty eyes and now I look at you and it’s like it’s a different person.  I know I’m biased but I think you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and the person you are becoming makes me think that even more.

Most days I’m just in awe that God chose me to be your mom, and I truly feel like you are one of the biggest blessings in my life.  I think the mother-daughter relationship can be a beautiful, unrivaled thing, and I hope and pray that ours continues to grow.  I am so lucky to get a front row seat to watching you and helping you become the amazing person I know you will be someday.  The sky really is the limit with you and I can’t wait to see the next year of your journey.

I love you, Abbie Rose!  Don’t ever forget that!


Your mommy




Unknown said...

Does this mean the terrible 3's are going to be starting for me?

So far, I feel like the 2's were rougher for us, he was very non verbal, so I think it made it more frustrating for both of us.

Elsbit said...

Love this!