Saturday, August 14, 2010

Past, present and future

So I’m sitting here trying to gather my thoughts, and they’re just bouncing all over the place and I don’t even know what to write about or where to begin.  =)  If this blog is a jumbled mess, that’s why.  Maybe I’ll write a few separate blogs because I could write about 15 different topics and then I never know what to title a blog that’s doesn’t have a clear subject.  =)

I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that I married my soul mate.  Mark and I just click.  We balance each other out.  When one of us is freaking out, the other one is there with words of wisdom and a calming aura about them.  Admittedly, I’m usually the one freaking out, but every once in a while Mark lets me return the favor.  =)  What I love most about us, is how we are so open in our communication with each other.  My parents have often made comments about how open we are with each other and how well we communicate.  I think part of the key to surviving the military lifestyle is having an open line of communication with your spouse.

Mark n me (Jan 2005)

These last few days have taught me SO much about myself, about others, about my marriage.  I’ve had some really good heart to heart conversations with friends, and they’ve all opened my eyes in one way or another and given me a broader view of my life and my actions and the person I want to be.  I’ve realized that situations that completely stink while you’re going through them, only make you a stronger person in the end.  And I’m even more aware that people are just different.  None of us have the same story, or the same background.  We all have our battles we’re fighting, whether they’re public or private, and we all have our own ways of conquering those battles.

I most definitely use this blog as my release.  I find comfort in writing and letting others know how I feel and I’m not ashamed to admit when I’m having a hard time.  Living in Italy is a dream come true, and I am very thankful for this opportunity, but that doesn’t mean that every day I’m here is a vacation for me.  I’m still dealing with life as I would if I lived in the States, especially since there are no F-16 bases anywhere near any of my family in the States.  The plane ride home is just a few hours longer.  There was a speaker at a spouses club luncheon here recently, who’d been a military spouse for a long time and I think her husband is retired now.  But she said that Aviano is by far the hardest base she lived at, because of the ops tempo here (aka – the guys are gone a lot), because of Italian culture, because the actual base doesn’t have that much to offer, because everyone expects everything to be perfect since you’re in ITALY, and that isn’t always the case.  I’ve heard the average time it takes to get adjusted to life in Italy is 6+ months.  I’ve been here 5 months.  (Really?!?! I can’t believe it’s already been 5 whole months!  Time just seems to be flying by!)  I would say I’ve adjusted to the Italian lifestyle pretty well since I feel comfortable here.  In fact I’m no longer scared of gypsies breaking in to my house and I even leave my shutters open at night when I’m here by myself.  AND I killed a scorpion by myself yesterday that was in our basement.  (Ew!)  It’s going to take me a while longer to get adjusted to Mark being gone so much since this is the first time we’ve dealt with this in our 5 years of living together and him being in the military, but I am confident that I’ll get there. 

Since we’ve decided Abbie and I will be going home (to my parents) while Mark is deployed, my worries have been eased quite a bit.  I’m not at all excited to spend months away from my husband, but I am VERY excited to go home and spend time with friends I haven’t gotten to spend time with at all in the past 5 years, and for our families to get to spend more time with Abbie.  My parents are already making plans for vacations they want Abbie and me to go on with them while we’re home, which gives me something to look forward to.  And I’ll get to be near a TARGET (AHHH!!!), and a HOBBY LOBBY (DOUBLE AHHH!!!) and restaurants that serve something other than Italian food!!!!!  I almost can’t contain my excitement!!!  =)menbillie1003 me n rachie

Anyway, that’s enough rambling for one blog post.


Andysbethy said...

Hello - I saw your link on Wives of Faith and I just wanted to drop by and say hi. Your daughter is adorable.
I will offer my encouragement in your decision to go "home" while your husband is deployed. I have gone "home" every time so far, and it has been so good for my children, (and me too) to have time with their grandparents and aunts and uncles. As military families, they are so far removed from extended family for months or years of their lives. I always try to take advantage of those months of deployment and enjoy the extended family. Sounds like you have family that will be glad to have you!
Plus, Target... how can you resist, right?

Lynne said...

Monica, when will you be back stateside? Waylon and I would definitly love to see you, and Miss Abbie too! I hope all is well with you over there, you are an incredibly strong woman!! Hope to hear from you soon, and see you one day!