Abbie was 7 weeks old yesterday. I've been debating on when to try to put her in her own room (as opposed to a pack n play in our room) at night, and after a few tears on my part last night, we decided last night would be it. Actually I decided last night would be it since Mark was so tired he was dead asleep about 30 seconds after he laid down...
Let me just say, I love having a snugly baby, and I don't think they get more snugly then my Abbie is. But I truly do not like her sleeping in my bed with us. It's way too crowded since Mark sleeps in the middle half the time, and then we have both of the weinas sleep with us also. I always put Abbie between me and the edge of the bed so I can shield her from the dogs and Mark, since I'm afraid he's so tired all the time he wouldn't even realize that he's smushing her. When I bring her to bed with me I'm constantly afraid she's going to roll of the side of the bed (even though she doesn't roll yet and I put rolled up blankets next to her on that side so she can't roll that way), or that my pillow is on her face, or my blanket is on her face, or she's rolled into me (which she does a lot) and she can't breathe, etc. So in other words, I don't sleep well. However, I don't sleep at all when she's not in bed with me so I guess I have to choose the lesser of two evils. When we were home this weekend, one of my parent's friends, who's a nurse, said she's been to a few county coroner talks, where they talk about babies suffocating while they were sleeping with adults, so that's constantly in the back of my mind. Plus all the nurses and doctors in the hospital said that co-sleeping was not a good idea - for that reason - it's dangerous.
Anyway, so I decided to try to put her in her own bed in her own room last night and needless to say, it didn't go very well. Between 10am and 4am, I got up to feed her 3 times and got up at least 5-6 other times to soothe her because she just would NOT sleep in her own. She wasn't all out screaming for most of the time, but she was doing her quiet "sad/annoyed" cry on and off for most of the night. I'd give her 5 mins when she started crying (as long as she wasn't screaming) to see if she'd go to back sleep, but she didn't. Ever. The 3 times I nursed her she'd sleep for maybe a half hour after each time after I got her back in the crib, but then she'd wake up and cry. I'd try to soothe her without getting her out of bed, and she just wasn't having any of it. I'd put the pacifier back in her mouth and that would give me MAYBE 5 mins sometimes, but that was it. Then she'd be crying again. As soon as I'd pick her up, she was fine, so I KNOW that she just wants to be by me. Which is good and great and all, but not 24/7. I don't think I got more than 30 consecutive minutes of sleep all night, until 4am when I couldn't see straight anymore I was so tired, so I brought her to bed with me. And lo and behold, she slept great until 8:30am. Grrr...
I don't know what else to do to get her to sleep on her own. I swaddle her, I make sure she's fed and changed before I put her down, I have a sound machine in her crib, I have a humidifier on in her room and it's mostly dark except for a nightlight. What else can I do? I bought a small CD player today to see if music soothes her more than the sound machine and I also bought a little entertainment center thing to hang on her crib that plays music and has lights on it. I figured maybe if I can just get her to enjoy her time in her crib, instead of screaming every time she realizes she in there by herself, that will help out some.
I just don't want to end up having a year and a half old who won't go to sleep by herself and I'm afraid that's where I'm headed. I figure I'd be better off breaking her of this habit now, instead of waiting until she really knows what's going on and having it be 10 times harder then. But it is HARD. It would be a lot easier if she would sleep a little longer than 30 mins between her crying episodes and if Mark was able to get up with her sometimes, but that's not an option right now. Maybe tonight will be better.
Naturally, she slept for 3 hours straight in her car seat today since I had my 6week check up. And now again, she's asleep in my arms... At least one of us is getting some sleep. She's lucky she's the cutest thing ever...
5 comments:
So... when I worked peds and we needed a little one to be asleep for some type of procedure we would do everything in our power to keep them awake until about 5 minutes before whatever it was that we wanted them to sleep through. Maybe you just need to be more forcefull about putting her on a schedule. She is obviously tired and needing sleep during the day because she's not sleeping at night. So start not letting her nap in the late afternoon evenings. Play with her, put in something sitting up... if she starts nodding off wake her up! It sounds mean I know, but it works. Maybe a few days of that and she will be good and tired at night?!
Also, they say a sleep routine works for adults (you know, do the same routine every night at the same time) to help them get to and saty asleep. Maybe you could start a sleep routine with Abbie? 20 minutes nursing, NO SLEEPING. Then 5 minutes of massage with lavender lotion, again no snoozing. Then a diaper change, and then lay down. Or something! What do I know, I don't have kids. :) Anyway- hope she starts sleeping better real soon.
The next literature I will read is "The No Cry Sleep Solution". I know I've suggested this to you, so I'll let you know how it goes. Sierra HATES her crib. H.A.T.E.S. Oh, does she scream when we try and put her down there. Sleeps great with us, though. Sigh.
By the way, if you do the math (according to an article I read on mothering.com), there are actually a greater percentage of crib sleepers that die from SIDS when relatively compared with co-sleepers. I don't know why a lot of people in the medical profession advise against co-sleeping. As long as it's done safely, it's no more dangerous than putting a baby down in a crib. Humans had a family bed for centuries. It's only been recently, in western cultures, where babies were placed in a crib.
I continue to wish you luck, Monica. Let me know if you find any tricks I haven't tried yet.
Sorry to hear about all of the sleepless nights. Is Abbie burping after she feeds? I know that when RJ is fussy and won't go to sleep he usually needs a really good burp...until he does that he won't go to sleep or even lay on his back.
I'm an advocate for co-sleeping, but it isn't for everyone. Good luck to you guys...let me know if you need anything!
I agree with the evening routine remark and also keeping her up so she'll go to sleep when you are ready for her to go to sleep. She'll be so tired she wont know who's bed she's in, and wont care either! The boys were always good about sleeping on their own. Dont get me wrong I loved to cuddle with them but their dad wasnt having it so i didnt really have a choice-thats about the only thing i am gratefuly to him for... But one of the best feelings i ever got since i having kids, is going into their room in the morning and seeing their face light up to see me. Its like you havent seen them in a week! It may takes some tears from all of you. But stay the course and you all will sleep and feel better when you start getting used to it.
Well, I'm totally a fan of that Healthy Sleep Habits book, because it does make for happy kids. Unfortunately, he also says your biggest goal for the first 3-4 months is to keep crying down to a minimum and sleeping to a max. He talks about the change that takes place in babies around that time, and he's right. At least that's what I've seen in Alynna. For the first few months I pretty much laid her down asleep and she would sleep 30-45 min on her own. But by three months, I'd put her to sleep around 7pm and she started sleeping 4-5 hour stretches. Sorry I don't have the magical answer (I'm just now getting my 8 month old to sleep through the night) but just know that you just need to stay the course, and keep that book as a reference because he is 100% right on. So far it's the only sleep book that didn't say one thing I didn't disagree with (and I've read more than a few). If you're looking for something else to read, I'd try either The Sleep Lady's Gentle Guide, or BabyWisperer (sp?). Babywise was slightly educational in nutrition and care of babies, but I don't think it helped me much as far as sleeping goes. And it certainly doesn't have anything you won't find in the other two. Good luck, just do what you can for now to get the both of you the most sleep possible, and re-evaluate it in a month. Keep on keeping on! You can do it, I'm doing it with two and a husband who is gone 90% of the time.
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