Monday, October 24, 2011

197 days

197 days is how long it’s been since I’ve seen my husband in person.  And now he is supposed to be home tomorrow.  I’m more than half expecting something to go wrong and him to not end up coming home tomorrow since that’s the way the military usually works.  I’m trying hard to not get my hopes up, and right now they aren’t.  They probably won’t be until we’re a few hours out from his arrival.  But the signs are made, the outfits are picked out and the list of things that need to be done tomorrow before we bring him home are created.
For the past week or two, it hasn’t really felt like Mark would be home soon.  I’ve felt like I still have at least a few weeks left before he gets home.  Honestly, I still feel like I have a few weeks left instead of a matter of the hours that we’re down to now.  It’s surreal to think that in 16 hours I could be in my husband’s arms again.
I’m very excited to be in a “wife role” again.  I realize that I never stopped being his wife while he was away, but I basically didn’t have any “wife duties” for the past 6+ months.  I didn’t have to make meals for him or clean up after him or do his laundry.  I didn’t have my best friend around to talk to whenever I wanted to talk and I didn’t get to fall asleep next to him.  We talked almost daily, but mostly it was me emailing him books and trying to keep him up to date on what Abbie was doing and how she was progressing.
Mostly, I’m excited to see Abbie and Mark together again.  I’m excited to see her reaction to him and I’m excited to see his reaction to her.  I told him that his 2 weeks off are most likely going to be spent with him watching her and me watching him.  Abbie has changed A LOT in the 6 months Mark has been gone.  She’s lost all of her “baby-ness” and she is a thriving little girl now.  She talks non-stop and I think that’s going to be an adjustment for Mark.  I think Abbie has forgotten that Mark is her favorite playmate, but I think it’s going to take her about 30 seconds to remember again once he’s home.
I’m nervous about seeing him again too.  I wonder how much he’s changed and how much I’ve changed in the past half of a year.  I’m sure we’re both different people now.  And I’m 32 weeks pregnant so obviously my physical appearance is quite different from when he last saw me.  As I predicted, quite a few of the wives in the squadron have lost weight.  I haven’t seen everyone yet, but of the few I have seen, most, if not all, of them have lost weight, some as much as 20lbs.  I wish I had an improved body like they do, but instead I’ve put on 25+lbs.  I know Mark won’t care, but I care and it bothers me.
Here’s praying that everything goes according to play tomorrow and that he gets home when he’s supposed to.  I’m ready to be with my husband again and have our family all together.

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