Thursday, May 14, 2009

Feeling kinda blah

Mark's been in training for a little over two weeks now. He's doing academics, so he's gone from around 6:30am - 8am to 4pm-6pm, depending on the day. Usually he can come home for lunch for a half hour to 45 mins. So I'm home for the majority of the day by myself, and it's starting to get to me.

I pretty much feel worthless, mainly because I do nothing all day long. Literally, nothing. I get up between 8:30 and 9:30am, and eat breakfast, call my mom and check my email. Then I usually go back to bed and read my book or watch tv and almost always end up falling asleep again until noon at least. Sometimes when I wake up I feel good and then I just kinda hang out the rest of the day, doing little chores, but mainly messing around online or watching tv. Other times (like today) I wake up and feel pretty crappy. (Headache, groggy, achy, etc) I feel like I should be cleaning the house or doing something constructive, but I still don't. Our vacuum cleaner is probably one of the heaviest on the market and it completely wears me out when I do that, and Mark doesn't want me carrying it up and down the stairs. Sweeping and scrubbing the floors also have me huffing and puffing within 2 minutes of starting. Our electricity plan is where it's a LOT more expensive to run things between 9am and 9pm, so I try not to do laundry then since it costs so much more. I've been having a LOT of pelvic/ hip pain lately, along with a weird crick in my back so when I stand up sometimes I get shooting pains, so walking around hurts a lot. I almost fell over last night the first time I got up to pee it hurt so bad. And besides, walking around outside right now is kind of out of the picture since it's over 100 degrees here every day. I should go grocery shopping right now, but I'm not because I've been having quite a few contractions lately, and while they don't hurt at all, they are kind of uncomfortable and just make me want to sprawl out and not move. So pretty much I sit at home by myself all day and do nothing. Thank God for the weinas because they try to keep me company. I guess I'm just ready for this baby to come so I have something to occupy my time and so I can go out and do things without getting tired really quickly or being uncomfortable or worrying about going into labor when Mark's not around. I kind of feel like she'll give me a purpose again, because right now I truly do feel pretty worthless. Plus, once I have her and Mark's back at work my mom will be here for a little bit to keep me company and then I won't be so lonely.


Wilmes: Party of 6 said...

Cheer up buttercup...and enjoy your downtime, even if you feel worthless :) Just relax and get ready for life to and everything else can wait!

Oh, and I'm home most of the time with the call me! We'll plan a weekly play date when you're ready :)

Our Jeremiah 29:11 Life said...

Pretty soon you'll be so busy you'll wish you had all day just to lay in bed again! :) Don't be so hard on yourself, you deserve a break after, lets see... moving, changing doctors, setting up a new house, learning a new base/town, need I go on?! :)

michelle lynn said...

I know, it is so hard to just sit back and feel good about doing nothing, but this is just a season in your life, and it will be over soon enough, so I officially give you permission to do nothing, and enjoy it, and just day dream about that little blueberry!